Ya Gotta Believe
A place for New York Mets fans made by a New York Mets fan. If you love baseball, you will love this blog.
3.14.2006
Chipper Jones is an A**hole
I hate Chipper Jones. I hate the Atlanta Braves too, but I mean I really hate Chipper Jones. HeÂs cocky, uneducated, and not as good of a hitter as Mike Piazza. He is the worst thing to happen to the Mets since Sandy Koufax in the 60s.
There are several factors about him that irritate the hell out of me. IÂm going to list them, then make fun of him, all in the name of New York Mets pride:
-When he told us to put on our Yankees stuff in 1999, I decided right then and there that I had no choice but to fight him. I donÂt know when or how I could get near him, but I know that at some point in our lives, we will meet in an alley. At that point we will both agree to a no punch to the face, submission match (best of three of course). IÂm not saying IÂm going to win. IÂm just saying itÂs going to happen.
-His real name is Larry Wayne Jones. I think he would have been the first player in Major League Baseball to be swirlied by his own team with a name like that. It combines the awkwardness of a name like "Larry" with the kissing-cousin, red-neck attitude of "Wayne." It was probably the best move of his career to go by "Chipper."
-He named his son Shea. Great, we get it. You play well against the Mets. Now his son will get heckled to no avail because soon Shea Stadium won't be in existence and he'll be the boy in school with the weird name. He'll then give up on all hygenics and become the "smelly kid" because he says to himself "Hey, why bother? People don't like me because of my name anyway? Might as well smell like an unflushed toilet..." P.S. The kid's middle name is Logan. Unless he turns out to be Wolverine, he won't be cool. Nobody can really pull off that name.
-When it comes down to it, Mike Piazza was more dangerous at the plate against the Braves than Jones is against the Mets. Piazza is a better pure hitter, can spray the ball, and can launch it anywhere in the stadium he wants. Even last season, Piazza was hitting the Braves even though he was considered "on the decline" (which I argue).
Careers:
Piazza: 397 HR, 1223 RBI, 1929 Hits, .311 BA
Jones: 331 HR, 1111 RBI, 1811 Hits, .303 BA
The Braves won with their pitching, and Chipper Jones was just along for the ride. This leads me to my final point.....
-THE BRAVES WERE GOOD BECAUSE OF PITCHING! Having three to four Cy Young Candidates every year maybe why you win so damn much. John Smoltz, Tom Glavine, Greg Maddux, Kevin Millwood, etc. Having great, even Hall of Fame pitchers on the mound almost every night is how you get 39 consecutive division titles (+/- a few). Not with a loud-mouthed decent third baseman/lousy left fielder.
Chipper Jones is a good baseball player. The only reason why I hate him is because he talks too much and plays for a team that has consistently punched me in the heart my whole life. I do hate him though, and don't think I won't try a figure-four leg lock in that alley.
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